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Becoming The Best Version Of You

by jenny sansouci on May 23, 2012

Impressing others, attracting others, wanting others to accept us, to approve of us…it’s something we focus on all the time. We want people to like us. To love us. To want to work with us in business. To approve of our choices. To give us confirmation that we’re doing things in an acceptable way. For some people, wanting other people’s approval can be all consuming. And quite frankly, it’s totally exhausting.

I got an email the other day that said this:

“Do you have any tips for getting over a guy? I thought I was going to marry him. I’ve been feeling really depressed.”

I found myself instinctively writing this back:

“My advice would be to focus on making yourself the best YOU you can be. I would have faith that the right man for you will come along when you’re standing fully in your truth, and when you impress yourself daily with how incredible you are. He will show up then, and not a moment sooner. Until then – get clear on what the best version of you is — and become her. Everything you want will be attracted to that energy like a magnet.”

After I pressed “send,” I thought about this concept more and more. I realized something pretty powerful:

Every time I’ve ever gotten a new job or business opportunity, it was at a time when I was really impressing myself with my work.

Every time I’ve ever attracted a new relationship into my life, it was at a time when I felt awesome and was attractive to myself.

Every time I’ve ever gotten the genuine approval of others, it was at a time when I completely approved of myself.

Every time I’ve ever had truly great things happen in life, it wasn’t because I was manipulating or trying as hard as possible to impress or attract other people, or “make them see me in a certain way.” It was because I already saw myself in the most positive way and it was impossible for other people to NOT feel that.

If you take the focus off of impressing others and work on being impressive to yourself, it changes the whole game.

When you get clear on who YOU really are, what makes you feel alive and amazing, and take steps to really step into that, to become that version of yourself, the whole world responds more favorably, and you feel more authentic and passionate about your life. In fact, magical things that you probably never would have even expected for yourself will show up.

I love this quote:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

So forget trying so hard to impress other people all the time.

Imagine what it would be like to be the you that impresses YOU.

And get on it.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Alison Leipzig May 23, 2012 at 11:12 am

JENNY!!! This is amazing. I adore you. <3


jenny sansouci May 23, 2012 at 11:15 am

I adore you too Ali 🙂


Rachel May 23, 2012 at 11:32 am



Kelcy May 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Jenny great post! I felt all of that resonating
With me. I’m in that place right now of being
Utterly frustrated with my people pleasing
Repressing my true self. I’m still not even
Entirely sure who that is yet but I do know
I’m hiding. I was thinking today why am I always
Trying to please other people? The only person
I am to please is myself. 🙂 kx


Jenny May 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Love this!! And love your blog :o) This couldn’t have come at a better time…thank you for being YOU!! xoxo


Katherine May 23, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Nice job! Speaks to many of us who think we need others approval to be good enough. I love the idea of impressing myself with how incredible I am! Thank you Jenny for reminding me how awesome I already am with or without anyone else’s approval. Much love.. xoxo


Jill Timmerman May 23, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Wow!!! This was the shot in the arm that I needed. AMAAAAAZING post! Thank you so much for the reminder!!! I’ve known to work on myself in situations like getting over a guy or something…. but sometimes the situation is not that cut and dried and you feel kind of ..lost for a course of action. WELL… you’ve given it here with this.. a nice gentle reminder to focus on me. It always comes back to this. When will I learn? LOL!! I thoroughly enjoyed this post.


GN May 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Beautiful! I love the quote at the bottom. I can really relate to what it is saying. I’m at a point in my life where I am pushing myself to “come alive.” It’s scary to give up a secure job, relationship, etc. But I am hopeful that I will be able to find what really ignites my passion and makes me “come alive”!


Paige May 30, 2012 at 2:07 am

I reread Gabby’s climbing chapter today in add more ~ing, and wrote these concepts down in my journal as a reminder. Like attracts like. Such an amazing thing. Again, came across this just now – such a great time to read this after today. Your take on it (as usual) is so inspiring.


Khadia May 31, 2012 at 5:55 pm

“what the world needs is people who have come alive”
– ahh…so beautiful, and so true! Thank you for sharing..


Nicole June 3, 2012 at 11:16 am

Wow, another great post! This is such truth! Thanks for speaking it girl.


Rebecca June 5, 2012 at 3:16 am

I LOVE this! Seriously, this is so true. Not until we are loving ourselves and living our truths can we expect anyone else to be sincerely in love with us too <3


christine June 10, 2012 at 10:02 pm

SO beautiful! loving your writing and deep sharing lately super touching and inspiring turning PAIN into PURPOSE 🙂 is sexy 😉


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