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Which Version Of Yourself Are You Feeding?

by jenny sansouci on October 29, 2013

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing this new thing called Network Spinal Analysis at a place in Manhattan called Vikaz. It’s really hard to explain what’s going on there, but something is, and it feels like it’s going to be significant. It’s too soon to tell for sure. All I know is that I fell into it very serendipitously and I’m going with it.

The chiropractor I am working with there, Dr. David Mehler, sat down with me on my first visit and we talked about my life. I had arrived 10 minutes late for our meeting.

“Sorry. I’m always late to things. Like, across the board, 10 minutes late. I’ve missed so many flights because of it,” I said with a rebellious smile.

“Well, there’s a version of you that’s late,” he said. “But there’s also a version of you that’s on time. There’s even a version of you that’s early.”

I laughed at that one. Being early makes me uncomfortable.

“The point is,” he said – “You choose which version you’re going to feed.”

Wow. I remember back in 2007 when I started getting into yoga. I went to a 7:30am class one morning at Om Yoga in Union Square. My teacher opened up the class by saying, “Your higher self thanks you for meeting him or her on the mat this morning.” As if there was a version of me who was already on the mat, waiting for me to show up. I remember thinking, oh, yeah, that’s kinda trippy.

Dr. Mehler and I went on to talk about love. “Jenny, there’s this version of you that accepts little crumbs of love from men who aren’t fully available to be with you. And then there’s a version of you that won’t accept anything less than a man who totally blows your mind with his love. Which version of yourself do you want to feed?”

Damn. Right? I know. Ever since that first session with him I’ve been really thinking about this concept. I realized there are so many versions of me, and I really do have the choice – in every moment, with every thought, with every action – about which one I’m going to feed. Each choice will produce a different result.

There’s a version of me that wakes up at 6am and goes for a run and gets inspired by the early morning light.
Then there’s a version of me that keeps pressing snooze and gets up 20 minutes before I have to be somewhere.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that channels my intense level of passion into being creative, sharing vibrant energy with the world.
There’s also a version of me that can’t handle the level of intensity I feel sometimes, and wants to just numb out those sharp emotions.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that can sit in my room watching this and this, being all emo and and thinking about all the men I’ve ever loved. This version of me tells stories about romance that sound like tragic comedies.
Then there’s a version of me that knows I can attract any man – or anything else I desire – with my powerful energy field. This version of me tells stories about romance that are epic and cosmic and limitless.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that could decide to drink way too much alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or blow lines of adderall and cocaine.
There’s also a version of me that takes incredibly good care of myself, is extremely particular about what goes into my body, and has way more fun being totally sober.
(There’s also a version of me that can just drink one beer and be cool).

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that never looks at my bank account, gets parking tickets on the regular, and ignores most financial responsibility.
There’s also a version of me that loves being super buttoned up and organized and having everything paid off and money flowing in abundantly.
I choose which one to feed.

We have a million choices every day. When to wake up, what to eat, how to react to people, whether or not to exercise, what book to read, who to love, whether or not to troll around on Facebook until our heads explode. It’s really pretty freaking empowering if you think about it. WE GET TO DECIDE how we’re going to show up in each moment. How cool. At every moment, we have a choice of which versions of ourselves we want to feed and which versions we want to starve. We always have a choice of whether or not we’re going to sabotage our own greatness.

We also have a choice about what story we want to tell about what’s going on in our lives. We don’t need to define ourselves as any specific version, because it’s fluid and always changing.

We also don’t need to strive to always feed a “perfect” version of ourselves. Big deal if once in awhile we drink too much coffee, or eat too much almond butter, or watch TV instead of doing creative work, or walk around our ex boyfriend’s neighborhood listening to love songs until we feel borderline mental institution material (ok I did that ONE time). The important thing is where we choose to direct our energy MOST FREQUENTLY. The version of ourselves we choose to feed on the regular. That’s what is going to create lasting change and transformation in our lives.

We can choose the quick fix, or we can choose something that’s going to produce more sustainable health and happiness. This is why I do the work I do –  to explore and find options that help us feel awesome more often.

This concept feels like it’s totally revolutionizing my life.

Dan Millman talks a lot about this concept in his book, “The Life You Were Born To Live.” He uses birthdate numerology to show what each individual is like when we’re “working in the positive” and what we’re like when we’re “working in the negative.” Mine are SO on point, it’s terrifyingly accurate, almost hilarious. (I’m a 38/11, if you’re familiar with his work).

Ok your turn. Can you relate to this? Which version of yourself do you want to feed more often?




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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Alisha Golden November 2, 2013 at 11:51 am

I love this! Such a great reminder of the power we have to choose who we are in each moment, and how that moment’s choice leads us to who we are becoming. And the beauty, it’s all up to us to decide!

Keep writing. xx

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:31 pm

Thanks! Glad it spoke to you. :)

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Trish Wager November 2, 2013 at 2:07 pm

The timing of this is perfect! Thank you Jenny, thank you Universe. Over the past few weeks, I have been getting this message.
I love it. Thank you.

“A wise tribal elder told a story to his grandson one evening by the fire. ‘Inside me, there is a fight raging between two wolves. One wolf is anger, bitterness, self-pity, jealousy, and sorrow. The other wolf is love, faith, hope, peace, forgiveness, and joy. Both wolves are strong, and they battle fiercely – not just in me, but in everyone, even you.’

The young boy thought for a moment and asked, ‘Grandfather, which wolf will win?’

The wise elder replied, ‘The one you feed.’” — Cherokee proverb

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:32 pm

I loooove that story. “both wolves are strong, and they battle fiercely.” #truth

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Erin Lindstrom November 2, 2013 at 4:42 pm

Yes! We have the power to choose every day. Well said!

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:32 pm

Thank you! Yes, we do. For better or worse. 😉

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Erica November 2, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Love this! Thank you for sharing. xx

I will choose to feed the version of myself that is peaceful.

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Love it.

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Angie November 2, 2013 at 8:39 pm

You are wise beyond your years, my friend.

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Thanks, Angie. <3

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Erin November 3, 2013 at 1:18 am

I really needed to read this at this exact moment in time.
Thank you

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Sometimes it happens that way. Awesome.

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Heidi November 3, 2013 at 11:05 am

Love it! You nailed it. Thank you for your honesty. I admire your ability to really put yourself out there. Its inspiring to me. Keep going. :) I choose to nourish the “self” that I know God put me here to be. The “self” that aligns me with Source. It is that Source that keeps me nourished. The “self” that fills itself with life force energy rather than the “self” that sucks the life force energy out of me. Somewhere in the middle is balance and with balance, I thrive. ☺

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jenny sansouci November 3, 2013 at 2:34 pm

Thanks, Heidi. Yes…life force energy! I want that.

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Hadley Gustin November 6, 2013 at 11:36 am

Inspired post, Jenny! I love looking at life this way. It is so empowering to think that we always have a choice as to the elements of ourselves that we embrace and expose. Nothing is ever really right or wrong; our choices simply reflect our thoughts and emotions in a given moment and give us what we need to feel better in that moment. Very cool topic! I’m also really interested in Dan Millman’s book that your recommended and will be sure to check it out. :)

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Kathleen November 27, 2013 at 4:47 pm

I don’t know why I always forget about this, really, but it’s so true. It’s like.. you always know you have a choice, sometimes you just need someone to point it out to you. We’re always seeming to be on automatic – whatever is easiest at the time or convenient for us. I am DEFINITELY going to be paying lots of attention to feeding the being I am born to be.

Thank you Jenny, so very much, for this post 😀
Katie {theblissfulblog.com}

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Nicolle December 4, 2013 at 3:43 pm

This is epic! Thank you Jenny for the inspiration that keeps on giving :)

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Michelle December 28, 2013 at 10:15 am

I read this post every time I need a little pick me up. Thanks Jenny!

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