Which Version Of Yourself Are You Feeding?

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing this new thing called Network Spinal Analysis at a place in Manhattan called Vikaz. It’s really hard to explain what’s going on there, but something is, and it feels like it’s going to be significant. It’s too soon to tell for sure. All I know is that I fell into it very serendipitously and I’m going with it.

The chiropractor I am working with there, Dr. David Mehler, sat down with me on my first visit and we talked about my life. I had arrived 10 minutes late for our meeting.

“Sorry. I’m always late to things. Like, across the board, 10 minutes late. I’ve missed so many flights because of it,” I said with a rebellious smile.

“Well, there’s a version of you that’s late,” he said. “But there’s also a version of you that’s on time. There’s even a version of you that’s early.”

I laughed at that one. Being early makes me uncomfortable.

“The point is,” he said – “You choose which version you’re going to feed.”

Wow. I remember back in 2007 when I started getting into yoga. I went to a 7:30am class one morning at Om Yoga in Union Square. My teacher opened up the class by saying, “Your higher self thanks you for meeting him or her on the mat this morning.” As if there was a version of me who was already on the mat, waiting for me to show up. I remember thinking, oh, yeah, that’s kinda trippy.

Dr. Mehler and I went on to talk about love. “Jenny, there’s this version of you that accepts little crumbs of love from men who aren’t fully available to be with you. And then there’s a version of you that won’t accept anything less than a man who totally blows your mind with his love. Which version of yourself do you want to feed?”

Damn. Right? I know. Ever since that first session with him I’ve been really thinking about this concept. I realized there are so many versions of me, and I really do have the choice – in every moment, with every thought, with every action – about which one I’m going to feed. Each choice will produce a different result.

There’s a version of me that wakes up at 6am and goes for a run and gets inspired by the early morning light.
Then there’s a version of me that keeps pressing snooze and gets up 20 minutes before I have to be somewhere.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that channels my intense level of passion into being creative, sharing vibrant energy with the world.
There’s also a version of me that can’t handle the level of intensity I feel sometimes, and wants to just numb out those sharp emotions.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that can sit in my room watching this and this, being all emo. This version of me tells stories about romance that sound like tragic comedies.
Then there’s a version of me that knows I can attract anything I desire – with my powerful energy field. This version of me tells stories about romance that are epic and cosmic and limitless.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that could decide to drink way too much alcohol, smoke cigarettes, or blow lines of adderall and cocaine.
There’s also a version of me that takes incredibly good care of myself, is extremely particular about what goes into my body, and has wayyyyyyy more fun being totally sober.

I choose which one to feed.

There’s a version of me that never looks at my bank account, gets parking tickets on the regular, and ignores most financial responsibility.
There’s also a version of me that loves being super buttoned up and organized and having everything paid off and money flowing in abundantly.
I choose which one to feed.

We have a million choices every day. When to wake up, what to eat, how to react to people, whether or not to exercise, what book to read, who to love, whether or not to troll around on Facebook until our heads explode. It’s really pretty freaking empowering if you think about it. WE GET TO DECIDE how we’re going to show up in each moment. How cool. At every moment, we have a choice of which versions of ourselves we want to feed and which versions we want to starve. We always have a choice of whether or not we’re going to sabotage our own greatness.

We also have a choice about what story we want to tell about what’s going on in our lives. We don’t need to define ourselves as any specific version, because it’s fluid and always changing.

We also don’t need to strive to always feed a “perfect” version of ourselves. Big deal if once in awhile we drink too much coffee, or eat too much almond butter, or watch TV instead of doing creative work, or walk around our ex boyfriend’s neighborhood listening to love songs until we feel borderline mental institution material (ok I did that ONE time). The important thing is where we choose to direct our energy MOST FREQUENTLY. The version of ourselves we choose to feed on the regular. That’s what is going to create lasting change and transformation in our lives.

We can choose the quick fix, or we can choose something that’s going to produce more sustainable health and happiness. This is why I do the work I do –  to explore and find options that help us feel awesome more often.

This concept feels like it’s totally revolutionizing my life.

Dan Millman talks a lot about this concept in his book, “The Life You Were Born To Live.” He uses birthdate numerology to show what each individual is like when we’re “working in the positive” and what we’re like when we’re “working in the negative.” Mine are SO on point, it’s terrifyingly accurate, almost hilarious. (I’m a 38/11, if you’re familiar with his work).

Ok your turn. Can you relate to this? Which version of yourself do you want to feed more often?